How did I end up here...?
This is quite a complicated question to answer.....
I guess I spent 14 years of my life (32) working my azz off for an end goal/life long dream of stepping into a senior role in my families business, typical family politics found very few comments or actions expressing appreciation or encouragement. Thus the thing I wanted most of all always seemed just around the corner however after turning countless of such corners it eventually became clear to me that this “carrot” was becoming more of a mirage.
Rather than continue to convince myself that "just a little more self sacrifice and it will work out", I made myself stop and reassess but in order to do this fully I was in need of some deep inner searching.
Some sobering questions had to first be asked and answered honestly of/by myself such as "Did I, 10 years ago, see myself where I am currently?" Absolutely not!!
But for the most part I had no regrets, though at the same time I was becoming acutely aware that I am edging ever closer to what could very well be the halfway point in my life. (If I am lucky) Therefore the follow up question had to be, "In another ten will I be happy to see myself still in this position again, with a similar level of progression as experienced in the decade just gone...?" The thought brought tears down my face and knots in my stomach.
It became quite evident that I had a great deal of soul searching to do. Type of which cannot be achieved in my present state, both mentally and geographically. So with a days notice, I told the powers that be, "I am going driving, no idea where" and “when I see you next” is the answer I gave when pressed for a timeline.
I packed up my ute and headed off to where ever felt right at the time to do whatever inspired me at the time, living in the now, living for me! I found myself zig zagging across this forever changing and seemingly endless country we call Australia. I did 13,000 kilometers in 3 months and it was the most alive I have felt in my life, I found myself randomly having childhood flashbacks of which became more frequent with time. Back to a time long ago when my imagination was untamable, something to be marveled. I was becoming myself again....., just writing this brings tears to my eyes.
I found myself in a series of isolations due to covid (of which I had no idea existed, let alone how the world was shutting down around me). Needless to say It would be the death of me (my soul at least) were I to return to my previous situation so I quit and in the coming months found myself somewhat lost but with fire in my belly. I also found myself with a lot of spare time, so I decided to go to the local hardware to get creative but see if I couldn't find a way to some how weave this love and imagination into something that may thrive into an income of sorts. I walked out with some timber working tools and using old pallets started creating things from interactive herb garden planting boxes to tv cabinets and even a bed ensemble. This release got my mind racing with possibilities and ideas which were springing up constantly. Ideas which were impossible to conjure only 6 months previous.
This is how I have ended up here writing this longwinded story of self exploration which will probably bore most before they get close to reading this far down. I started an etsy store as part of a determination to invest my best self into something that I can call my own rather than give it willingly to the ungrateful. This is why it may be obvious that I have far from chosen one direction for my store, so far I am selling items that capture my thirst for creativity and continue with my handmade concepts and ideas regardless of how obscure they may be, where this leads is anyone's guess but so long as I remain ME I will enjoy every moment. The future belongs to me and my journey is now mine therefore I can not fail only learn adapt and overcome.
For those of you that made it this far......
Thanks an awful lot for listening.
Aiden
This is quite a complicated question to answer.....
I guess I spent 14 years of my life (32) working my azz off for an end goal/life long dream of stepping into a senior role in my families business, typical family politics found very few comments or actions expressing appreciation or encouragement. Thus the thing I wanted most of all always seemed just around the corner however after turning countless of such corners it eventually became clear to me that this “carrot” was becoming more of a mirage.
Rather than continue to convince myself that "just a little more self sacrifice and it will work out", I made myself stop and reassess but in order to do this fully I was in need of some deep inner searching.
Some sobering questions had to first be asked and answered honestly of/by myself such as "Did I, 10 years ago, see myself where I am currently?" Absolutely not!!
But for the most part I had no regrets, though at the same time I was becoming acutely aware that I am edging ever closer to what could very well be the halfway point in my life. (If I am lucky) Therefore the follow up question had to be, "In another ten will I be happy to see myself still in this position again, with a similar level of progression as experienced in the decade just gone...?" The thought brought tears down my face and knots in my stomach.
It became quite evident that I had a great deal of soul searching to do. Type of which cannot be achieved in my present state, both mentally and geographically. So with a days notice, I told the powers that be, "I am going driving, no idea where" and “when I see you next” is the answer I gave when pressed for a timeline.
I packed up my ute and headed off to where ever felt right at the time to do whatever inspired me at the time, living in the now, living for me! I found myself zig zagging across this forever changing and seemingly endless country we call Australia. I did 13,000 kilometers in 3 months and it was the most alive I have felt in my life, I found myself randomly having childhood flashbacks of which became more frequent with time. Back to a time long ago when my imagination was untamable, something to be marveled. I was becoming myself again....., just writing this brings tears to my eyes.
I found myself in a series of isolations due to covid (of which I had no idea existed, let alone how the world was shutting down around me). Needless to say It would be the death of me (my soul at least) were I to return to my previous situation so I quit and in the coming months found myself somewhat lost but with fire in my belly. I also found myself with a lot of spare time, so I decided to go to the local hardware to get creative but see if I couldn't find a way to some how weave this love and imagination into something that may thrive into an income of sorts. I walked out with some timber working tools and using old pallets started creating things from interactive herb garden planting boxes to tv cabinets and even a bed ensemble. This release got my mind racing with possibilities and ideas which were springing up constantly. Ideas which were impossible to conjure only 6 months previous.
This is how I have ended up here writing this longwinded story of self exploration which will probably bore most before they get close to reading this far down. I started an etsy store as part of a determination to invest my best self into something that I can call my own rather than give it willingly to the ungrateful. This is why it may be obvious that I have far from chosen one direction for my store, so far I am selling items that capture my thirst for creativity and continue with my handmade concepts and ideas regardless of how obscure they may be, where this leads is anyone's guess but so long as I remain ME I will enjoy every moment. The future belongs to me and my journey is now mine therefore I can not fail only learn adapt and overcome.
For those of you that made it this far......
Thanks an awful lot for listening.
Aiden